MOTORIST. (Popperhinghe). -Yes, we have had other complaints of the suspected police trap on the Menin Road, and advise caution on the stretch between 'Hell Fire Corner' and the Culvert.
(extract from the "Wipers Times")
posted by Brituncula @ 4:46 PM
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posted by Brituncula @ 1:46 PM
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Our masters have produced guidance to ensure our spiritual welfare if things go really pear-shaped. In their desire to please absolutely everyone they have produced something really rather odd.
Christians have one or more given names, usually called Christian names because for most Christians these were given historically at the service of baptism, which for most happened when the infant was a few weeks old. These names are followed by the surname or family name, which is constant for men. Many women change to their husband’s surname on marriage, though this custom is changing. Individuals may not be known by their first Christian name, so it is always wise to ask, “What should I call you?” or for a funeral “What name should I use?”As this advice is supposed to kick in at the point when we're all doomed it's a bit of a pity there's no hint that the local peasantry mostly won't care about getting the last rites, but would feel quite strongly about emergency baptism for infants.
I think the pagans they consulted wimped out: why no demand for full viking funerals for everyone?
And it's rough being a Sikh: you risk being expected to re-enact the feeding of the five thousand.
Sikh gurdwaras (places of worship) are accustomed to providing large quantities of vegetarian meals, acceptable to all religions, though the practice of langar (hospitality to all).Personally I think I shall put in a last request to be ministered to by the spiritual heirs of these chaps.
Our Chaplain's got a banjo, an' a skinny mule 'e rides,
An' the stuff 'e says an' sings us, Lord, it makes us split our sides!
With 'is black coat-tails a-bobbin' to Ta-ra-ra Boom-der-ay!
'E's the proper kind o' padre for ten deaths a day.An' Father Victor 'elps 'im with our Roman Catholicks --
He knows an 'eap of Irish songs an' rummy conjurin' tricks;
An' the two they works together when it comes to play or pray;
So we keep the ball a-rollin' on ten deaths a day.We've got the cholerer in camp -- we've got it 'ot an' sweet;
It ain't no Christmas dinner, but it's 'elped an' we must eat.
We've gone beyond the funkin', 'cause we've found it doesn't pay,
An' we're rockin' round the Districk on ten deaths a day!
posted by Brituncula @ 12:03 PM
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